I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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