nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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