this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
