dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
