is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
