She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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