I just cut my nipple shaving
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
