I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
