DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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