ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
