I heard we made out
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
