Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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