But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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