Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
