and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
