Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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