Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the condom got lost in my hair
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
