i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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