Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
