Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
