I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i think my cat just said my name.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
