i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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