That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
