i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
