I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
