People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This baby is an asshole
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
