She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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