Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
