I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
