the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize