i think my mom watched the whole time
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
