Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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