I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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