I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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