Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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