:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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