I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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