Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
