I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you had me at cake vodka
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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