anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
