So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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