i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
