Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
