It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
