I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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