What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
3 2 1 whiskey
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
