is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
