Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
