i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
