Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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