Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
