I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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