Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize