You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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