I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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