I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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