we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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