Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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