pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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