y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize