The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
